Think about when you started your first new job, and your supervisor escorted you around the office for the meet and greet. Everyone…well, mostly everyone put their best foot forward to let you know that you were welcome there. This could have been because they were genuinely nice strangers, or it could have been that their paycheck depended on being cordial to co-workers 🙂 (Here’s a secret…it always does). But would they have welcomed you if money was not a factor? I’m thinking, yes they would have.

I went to a social gathering the other evening. Including myself, I’d say there were about twelve people in attendance. I did not personally or professionally know anyone there, but to my surprise, everyone was really nice and welcoming (sort of like the first day on the job). They presented themselves very well by trying to initiate conversation and wanting to get to know me better. They proceeded to ask me how I was doing, and tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible. The event lasted for about one hour, and after it was over, they all said goodbye to me in a very nice tone and invited me back with a smile.

Does this sound like the majority of encounters with people when you first meet them? Chances are that it does – and that’s certainly a good thing! As I drove home from such an overwhelmingly positive encounter with those “strangers”, I began to think to myself. Questions of why were those strangers so nice, and what happens to those so-called “nice” people once they get to “know” each other – started popping up in my mind and that’s what I would like to take a little time to discuss today.

So, what happens after you get to know another person? Why is it that so many people start out being nice and cordial, but end up belligerent, intolerant, competitive, and have no patience with their one time “stranger-friend”. Additionally, it seems that the closer you are…the worse it is. I mean, we all know married couples and/or family members that could come to be absolutely brutal towards each other – but in the same breath treat a person that they did not know very kindly.

Isn’t it odd that two people who don’t know each other could talk, be cordial, date, develop feelings, and ultimately fall in love with each other. That’s normally how the timeline goes. However two people that are married and supposedly already in love, could go days without even asking each other how the other is doing? Furthermore, they can’t sit together and talk about hardly anything without arguing, holding a grudge, yelling at each other and of course this all leads to falling out of love with each other.

The bottom line is that Aesop, the ancient Greek storyteller struck gold when he made the statement: “Familiarity Breeds Contempt.” Truer words have never been spoken. This, of course means that the more familiar you are with the persons close to you, the least likely it is for you to respect, practice patience with and show appreciation for. Conversely, it means that there exists an increasing probability that you will end up resenting, arguing, being frustrated by, disrespecting, and isolating yourself from people whom you know.

Anyone who has ever been married knows that the marriage relationship is an especially fragile one at times. There are countless stories both on the internet and in real life of people who have put on a false front for years about their marriage. You know how the story goes – people think you are happy and you have it all, but that’s not the case at all! Instead of the lyric by LMFAO Every-day I’m Shuffl-in’…most marriages’ lyric is Every-day I’m Struggl-in’!

I had always wondered how could two people that pledged their LIVES to each other end up practically hating each other in a matter of months, years, or decades? I mean…I’d always wondered that UNTIL I got married that is. In marriage you are bombarded with every situation imaginable. It does not take long or much for your Spiritual Covenant and legally binding document between each other to be tested…and tested…and…tested! What happens is that your love for each other becomes buried under an avalanche of other feelings, tasks, and obligations. And if you are capable and willing to dig yourselves out, you have to prepare for the next maelstrom coming your way. So, with the on slot of negative feelings that attack your marriage – what’s the solution? One word. Forgiveness!

We all have faults. We need to learn to forgive people as we would want to be forgiven. Scripture says – For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you (NIV). Isn’t that a wonderful statement? Answer: Yes…Yes it is. It’s wonderful because we are all in it together. You, your family, your friends, we’re all striving after the same goal of health, happiness and prosperity. Wherever you are going – you will not get there alone. If your spouse is not there for you – at least you could be there for him or her.

If you want to get “technical” about it. Love is not a FEELING. Love is a COMMANDMENT. There are an assortment of feelings that are connected to Love, but that’s the beauty in it – It endures all things. It will outlast anything and everything you go through. The struggle is that we have to keep these principles tattooed in our hearts, even when they are not so prevalent in our minds anymore. Furthermore…think about this – the fact that a person could stop loving someone is a sure sign that they never started in the first place.

So, in the future, instead of holding a person’s faults hostage in your own mind and heart, why not give them a chance at a new start…and while you’re at it let them meet the new you. You’ll feel much better and more importantly begin to exemplify the love you were meant to show for a lifetime.

Remember, He that is without fault, cast the first stone.

~Be Inspired and Live You!

Coach Dwayne

3 thoughts on “Strangers Have No Faults

  1. Really great post! I am only at the early stages of married life, so there will be much to be experienced still. I’m happy I took marriage preparation classes. Your post reflects much of what has been said in those sessions. I would, for me personally, replace the word “commandment” by “commitment” though, as it feel much kinder and coming from within, rather than an outsider telling you what to do. Thank you for your great words.

    1. Thanks for reading! I understand your point, and I welcome it! My desire is that all marriages be built on true love and respect. I wish you continued happiness in your new marriage!

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